爱不疚

Have been listening to this song for a trillion of times... Kinda reflecting how I feel since then. Hope to share this with my friends.

爱不疚
主唱：林峰

收藏在眼眸

常徘徊左右

爱 猜到没有

愉 快玩笑後

能全然退後

你 开心就够

这种感觉太亲厚

讲一千句也不够

假使讲了你听到後 或会走

这种恋爱太罕有

不 须真正拥有

成全 衷心祝福然後 就放手

放手 放开所有

彼此更自由

放手 其实我绝非爱得不够

放手 豁出所有

还有这个好友

已经 已经足够


遥 远是宇宙

静静在背後

去 看守就够

这种感觉太亲厚

讲一千句也不够

即使一刹有过冲动挽 你手

这种恋爱太罕有

不须真正拥有

成全

多舍不得仍然 是放手

放手 放开所有

彼此更自由

放手 其实我绝非爱得不够

放手 豁出所有

还有这个好友

已经 已经足够



放手 我的牵挂

找不到尽头

放手 期望你幸福甚麽都有

也许 爱很深厚

然而我早看得透

放手 至可拥有

Zaq Zaq

Simply dressed up and went to The Curve today in order to meet up with my friend J, he bought me a big teddy bear as the belated Christmas present, that was so sweet! Even though it was just an hour's out in my favorite hang out spot -- Starbucks, we could share loads of jokes and brief introduction among me and the other friend of his from JB. Thanks J, you had made me a wonderful day.

After I got home, I immediately showed Bubble a glance at my new teddy bear. (lol, silly Angelia) You wouldn't ever believe that what language do I normally speak to Bubble. I speak to her in HOKKIEN! ahahah...Even my mother also laughs at me when speak in Hokkien with bubble as I sound so funny! Scold Bubble in hokkien and stuffs like that, but of course sometimes also I will mix it with English. Reminds me of last time, I had seven dogs at one shot. They were so cheeky and intelligent, they understood English, Mandarin, Malay, Hokkien and even Cantonese! We did communicated a lot with our dogs, spent our precious time with them, celebrated each one of their birthdays. I missed them.

Felt very happy today , especially i made a lot of new friends today. Especially from the Curve, and my neighborhood. I named my teddy as Zaq Zaq.

A-za! A-za! Fighting!!!

Since then, I wouldn't let the time to complete its cycles and always flash back to that particular moment; when the time was crawling, everything moved slowly, and I could even hear the tap water dripping from the next door. The time paused at the deepest part of my soul, the pain memories penetrated into my heart with deep cuts. I asked myself, do I really want this kind of life, is it necessary for my to feel the pain created from MY REFLECTION, abuse and punish myself? Both Angel and Devil appeared at the same time in front of my eyes, DEBATING (=o=" Sigh...) whether what to do or not to do next.

Angel:" Angelia, please learn to let go, don't make yourself paused at that painful memory. Your pain will be relieved and your wounds will be healed as time goes by. Don't punish yourself and get stucked in front of the damaged bridge, learn from your mistakes and build a better bridge for yourself as well as for your future..."

Devil:" He caused you so much of pain, he dragged you to hell and make you suffer in his behalf. You should make him feel the pain twice as much as you do!" Does he worth for your crying tears? He would never know that your are suffering and in great sorrow! He is a man if he does notice!

POPS!!!!!!

The Angel and Devil had disappeared in the next second when I felt something tingling in my mind. Do I hide my pride in these bad dreams and give it to sad thoughts that are maddening? If I'm killed by the questions from car crash, then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer!

Kuen cha na, kuen cha na Angelia, I must believe I could manage to overcome this fear and hurt sooner or later. Time will be the best remedy. I just have to make myself busy, absorb new stuffs, everything is going to be fine. Just keep holding Angelia.

A-za! A-za! Fighting!!!

Sarang hae?

Sarang opso!! sarang opso!!!
Na sarang hae pa bo chin chiah!!!!!
Yah! Chelwarnce-ssi sarang a ni gu!

White Flower

As I follow a long casted shadow
I walk with you into the twilight's darkness.
I take your hand even until then
Just the thought of us being together
Makes me form tears

While being together at this moment
I want to give you everything I have
Hold this heart
I am not the weak one
I love you this much
My heart is still like this
If you are on my side
Even if something happens
I feel like I can do the same
Even after today and till whenever
That we will love each other forever

I pray this
The wind is shaking my window
Even if the dark night awakes
Even if I remember the painful memories
I will erase them all
With that bright smile of yours
With the endlessly falling white flowers
This path that we've always walked on
While we don't know if things will change
Dye it with bright light

For whoever's sake I live
I want to do anything for you
I learned that this is what love is

If you knew where that place was
The night star would have shined in that place...

Greatest Fall

Having depression since my family issues, I live in a constant fear, worries, insomnia that further create a great damage towards my current health condition. I am actually on medication (sleeping pills) since November, I didn't tell anyone about it. Only my mum aware of my health condition. Attempting to commit suicide for several times but someone stopped me from doing it.

Come to aware of that, the entire November till now, I have not even stepped out of my house. Because I have no self-confidence, cut myself from social activities, not interested in doing anything included my all time favourite exercise and workout. My brain keeps thinking restlessly, worries... whom am I going to turn to? Is it best that I turn back into old Angelia? Always wear a mask to face people? Being the happy clown to entertain people, and make them happy even though deep down my heart is grieving?

Since I met MY REFLECTION, he was the one who asked me not to wear mask in front of him, yes, I listened.. He couldn't accept who I am, so the outcome is, his thoughtless words were breaking my heart! My wounds could never be healed anymore, which enabled to change my telescope of life. I am tired, tired of meeting new people, entertaining people as no matter how I being a happy clown, or trying hard to take off my mask, definitely people will not appreciate that. What to do? To make my life better, the best option to choose is to become a lifeless, string attached puppet or a stupid clown.

So many things happened in a shot, I really don't know how to defend myself, no supporters at all. The one that always encourages me has left me alone to defend the war alone. I thought of throwing my broken shield and get defeated. I really need you to support me... Imagine a complete chair has 4 legs, my health and family already broke 2/4 of the legs, MY REFLECTION took away one of the legs, there is only one leg left..no supports at all and how am I going to continue with my life? Is it fair to punish me like that? Since when did i do wrong?

My greatest fall...

Run away

You took your love away,
so fast;
Have no chance to say,
goodbye;
Now I know the truth that made
my wound deeper
Even I was so in love
There's no one could understand

I'll pretend
that my life moves on
Then I tell myself
that I've gotta hold on
When you are no longer in my life
I run away
I run away
from this fact

Time is moving fast
since then
Have no chance to say
"I care"
and "I love you"
Even though I begged you to stay
You were so firm
I couldn't understand

Let's pretend
that life's moved on
Then I tell myself
that life's like that
Without your care and concern
Just have to accept the pain
and forget about you
I'll run away
I'll run away
from you...